1. Structurally meets some of the elements of Haiku, the seasonal element, the number of syllables and the implied audible caesura; well done. But thematically it is very simple for haiku, if you’re interested in writing westernized haiku I can recommend looking up some of the things Reginald Horace Blyth(who popularised the form in the West) has written on the matter, or the Haikus of the Beat poets who adopted it afterwards like Allen Ginsberg and Jack Kerouac(though they often replaced the traditional nature-based themes with an urban context).

  2. The 17 syllables make it perfect. Having rhyme in a haiku is quite an achievemnt. A deep universal truth is told through a minimalist form.
    This is a form you could continue to explore…

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