Wrapped up in several layers of clothing, everything from the neck down is hidden. It’s too early to reveal myself to the world yet, and too cold. An unkempt shock of hair falls over my tired eyes; several shades of brown showing that i prefer to avoid hairdressers. Is it acceptable to be seen in public like this? Probably not. I shudder at the thought of a shower, the cold air stinging my skin and the water freezing as it runs down the goosebumps on my arms. I brush my hair back from my face to reveal dark circles under my eyes, which are still half closed as daylight is not invited in yet. I switch on the shower, the stream of water warming up painfully slowly. I stare into the mirror for a while longer, contemplating the day ahead, willing myself to wake up. I don’t like to complain about my appearence; it strikes me as a petty and boring subject which, in my opinion, far too many people obsess over. My face is ordinary, average; shoulder length hair which takes little or no effort to maintain, dark eyebrows which take a little more; this i resent. Eyes which seem to have no colour; they can be brown one day, green the next… sometimes you can even see specks of yellow in them. Freckled and slightly upturned nose, piercing on the right. A small pick me up during a major confidence crisis after an attempt to cut my own hair went horribly wrong. Like i said, i avoid hairdressers. I grin at myself then remember that i shouldn’t smile with teeth until i get this awful piece of metal removed. Not long now, i reassure myself. Below my bottom lip is a scar, dating back to when i was 15 and decided to shock my parents by getting my first piercing. I remember that day so well, I dressed head to toe in black and wore eyeliner like a mask. No one would’ve guessed that i was happy. That mask deteriorated quickly when i saw the needle, and my two friends had to hold my hand while i whimpered in pain. The truth is, i was a carefree and rather naive child, but that just wasn’t cool or interesting. On both my face and body, the effects of the student lifestyle are becoming visible; the spot on my forehead, the slight puffiness around my chin, the extra few pounds i carry from the occasional takeaway or pint… all these imperfections add to me. They don’t ruin my looks, they tell my story. I realise the steam from the shower has blurred my face and i submerge myself under the warm water, fully awake now, and thinking i’m probably late for class. I’ve grown up so fast, hello reality!

One comment

  1. Honest and intimate. Why the self-deprecating small ‘i’ instead of the conventional ‘I’?

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