‘Dilate’ by Jenna Macdonald

Read by Jenna Macdonald

Listen Here:

Did you know my eyes turn darker in the night?
Darker in the darkness to suck in all the light?
I think the light consumes me to cause me to ignite
And I can’t seem to stop it so I don’t even fight.
Pupils dilate with excitement. Did you know that ‘cause it’s true.
My irises were always dark but I’ve grown a new point of view
My eyes grow dark in the darkness, dark with excitement, dark in lust
My eyes look almost black to *you* but this isn’t about us.
This is a different arousal so let’s not have a fight;
Don’t get angry – I’m just talking about the night.
Because you know I’m not sleeping and I’m crawling the up the wall,
I think someone spiked the sandman ‘cause I’m hallucinating in the hall.
I’m often wide-awake and wildly dreaming
But please don’t think that’s crazy-seeming.
The purple moons beneath my eyes are increasingly underlined
Funny how these painless bruises dare to state my state of mind.
Crazy? Isn’t it crazy the way the days are growing hazy?
Crazy? Is it crazy how the electric grey nights amaze me?
Lunatic. The full moon brings out the…
Eh…
Crazy, don’t you feel me growing crazy?
Is it scary? My eyes getting hazy?
Does it scare you the way the cold air raises me?
My eyes are hazy?
Does the night erase me?
Cold, crisp air and I’m floating, I feel like I’m alive
I talk too fast, and I know you’re thinking, ‘did the crazy just arrive?’
But don’t you get it? Don’t you get it?
I’m panting just to make the air fit,
In these lungs that sit,
Amongst these veins that feel lit. Like I’m fire.
Desire?
Just dilate!
Bring up my heart rate
Because I want to scream
I’m a waking dream;
I’ve gone nocturnal
The night’s internal
The night’s eternal.
…Staring at the crazy for hours on end? –it’s called moonstruck.
But when I break from it I guess you’re out of luck;
Because at least then the howls in my chest stay willingly inside,
Othertimes that *need* makes me want to run and hide
Because this is not what people ‘do’
-According to you
But who are you? Who *are* you?
You’re no zombie when the night’s through.
And I don’t *get* you
Because beneath your eyes is just as blue
As your iris
So I know that you like this
When our eyes dilate
When the night dares to resonate
When you let me giggle and spin under the stars like I’m free…
Come howl at the moon with me.

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3 comments

  1. Here’s the words to ‘Dilate’:

    Did you know my eyes turn darker in the night?
    Darker in the darkness to suck in all the light?
    I think the light consumes me to cause me to ignite
    And I can’t seem to stop it so I don’t even fight.
    Pupils dilate with excitement. Did you know that ‘cause it’s true.
    My irises were always dark but I’ve grown a new point of view
    My eyes grow dark in the darkness, dark with excitement, dark in lust
    My eyes look almost black to *you* but this isn’t about us.
    This is a different arousal so let’s not have a fight;
    Don’t get angry – I’m just talking about the night.
    Because you know I’m not sleeping and I’m crawling the up the wall,
    I think someone spiked the sandman ‘cause I’m hallucinating in the hall.
    I’m often wide-awake and wildly dreaming
    But please don’t think that’s crazy-seeming.
    The purple moons beneath my eyes are increasingly underlined
    Funny how these painless bruises dare to state my state of mind.
    Crazy? Isn’t it crazy the way the days are growing hazy?
    Crazy? Is it crazy how the electric grey nights amaze me?
    Lunatic. The full moon brings out the…
    Eh…
    Crazy, don’t you feel me growing crazy?
    Is it scary? My eyes getting hazy?
    Does it scare you the way the cold air raises me?
    My eyes are hazy?
    Does the night erase me?
    Cold, crisp air and I’m floating, I feel like I’m alive
    I talk too fast, and I know you’re thinking, ‘did the crazy just arrive?’
    But don’t you get it? Don’t you get it?
    I’m panting just to make the air fit,
    In these lungs that sit,
    Amongst these veins that feel lit. Like I’m fire.
    Desire?
    Just dilate!
    Bring up my heart rate
    Because I want to scream
    I’m a waking dream;
    I’ve gone nocturnal
    The night’s internal
    The night’s eternal.
    …Staring at the crazy for hours on end? –it’s called moonstruck.
    But when I break from it I guess you’re out of luck;
    Because at least then the howls in my chest stay willingly inside,
    Othertimes that *need* makes me want to run and hide
    Because this is not what people ‘do’
    -According to you
    But who are you? Who *are* you?
    You’re no zombie when the night’s through.
    And I don’t *get* you
    Because beneath your eyes is just as blue
    As your iris
    So I know that you like this
    When our eyes dilate
    When the night dares to resonate
    When you let me giggle and spin under the stars like I’m free…
    Come howl at the moon with me.

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