they are here again.

They are coming again tonight. I can hear them sneaking up on me in the dark. It is that time of the day again. They know I am weak…I could not numb myself with alcohol in time. And here they are: whispering into my ears, laughing at me, blaming me. You were the one, who kept them away from me for years. But since you are gone they are twice, three times as strong and loud. Everything gets blurry at times like this and I do not know what is real and what is just the twisted  horror of my mind. The bottle of whiskey did not help tonight. They arrived and will be staying with me until I pass out. The thoughts and ‘what if’ questions…they are here again. And you are not.

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